RecompHER

A year ago, you got down on one knee. And you asked me to be your girlfriend. You knew I’d roll my eyes, laugh, and call you ridiculous. But you also knew I’d say yes. Because you know me. You know how much I love cheesy, over-the-top gestures, big feelings, and saying the things that most people are too scared to say. You leaned into all of that, not because you had to, but because that’s who you are. A man who loves fully, out loud, and without hesitation. A man who continues to ask questions and learn how to love me deeper everyday. This year has been about laying the foundation for us. Your loud joy balancing my quiet intensity. My endless curiosity meeting your stoic presence. The way we challenge each other not to change, but to deepen, to soften, to grow. You’ve taught me that love can be big and steady at the same time. You’ve shown me what it means to be chosen, every single day, with a love that doesn’t flinch or hold back. And in this love, I’ve found even more of myself. I am thankful for the work I did to know I was whole and secure on my own, but being loved by you has given me space to stretch, to rest, and to build something even more meaningful together. You are kind in ways I can’t always put into words. You’re playful and thoughtful and the kind of person who lights up every single room you walk into. But more than that, you’re the person who makes every room feel like home for me. A year ago, you got down on one knee. And this last year, you’ve made me laugh until I cried, held me in ways I didn’t know I needed, and loved me in ways I didn’t know were possible. Happy anniversary, Matt. Thank you for being exactly who you are. I love you and I love us. 💌

The WRONG question I was asking👇🏼 I used to go on first dates with one question on repeat in my head: “Will he like me?” I’d sit there, nodding, smiling, laughing at jokes that weren’t even funny. All the while, I ignored the only question that really mattered: “Do I even like him?” I’ll never forget one date in particular. He spent the entire night talking about himself. His job. His car. His five-year plan to own three rental properties. And me? I was right there, hyping him up like a cheerleader. Pretending to be impressed when, deep down, I was thinking: “This isn’t it.” But back then, I didn’t feel like I was allowed to think that. I thought being liked was the goal. I thought being chosen was the prize. Then everything shifted. When Matt came into my life, I was already a different woman. I had stopped asking, “Will he like me?” and started asking, “Does this align with what I want and who I am?” I didn’t show up trying to be the “cool girl” or trying to earn his attention. I showed up as me. I asked questions that mattered: “What do you value most in a partner?” “What kind of life do you want to build?” “How do you handle hard conversations?” And when he answered, I listened—not with the hope that he’d say what I wanted to hear, but with the intention of finding out if his vision aligned with mine. It wasn’t about playing it cool or being chosen anymore. It was about knowing my worth and being clear about the love I was ready to create. That energy? That’s what made Matt fall for me. Because when you’re secure within yourself, you stop shrinking to fit into someone else’s life—and you start owning the life you want to build. 🚨 NEW OFFER 🚨👇🏼 For the single woman who’s done overthinking, settling, or losing herself in relationships that don’t match her worth: Secure Within is your step-by-step guide to breaking toxic patterns, building unshakable confidence, and attracting the secure, healthy love you deserve—starting with YOU. Comment ‘DETAILS’ and I’ll send you everything you need to know. 💌

I used to refresh my exes following daily. I’ll never forget the week I felt ~proud~ that he wasn’t following or liking photos of anyone I told him not to. 🤡 Back then, I thought that love was me setting the rules, them following them, and me checking to make sure they did. But the truth is, that wasn’t love. It was me micromanaging their behavior to soothe my own insecurities. And the relationships I attracted always mirrored exactly what I was willing to tolerate. I stayed in dynamics where blurred lines were normal because I was more focused on controlling their actions than holding myself to a higher standard. Here’s what I wish I would have learned sooner to save me a whole lotta heartache; True boundaries aren’t about control they’re about trust and standards. Now, I’m in a relationship where I don’t even think to check who my partner is following or messaging. Not because we avoid hard conversations, but because we built trust and clarity from the start. If someone gave me a reason to track their behavior, it would be an immediate dealbreaker.. not a debate. That’s what happens when you focus on becoming secure within yourself. The work isn’t about finding someone who never crosses a line. It’s about becoming someone who refuses to stay where trust doesn’t exist. It starts with you. Every. Single. Time. —— 💌 If this hit home and you want more on topics like this, comment ‘SECURE’, and I’ll add you to my list where I share exclusive insights on building secure attachment and relationships that actually feel good.

What if I told you.. It’s not love that’s boring—it’s your relationship to safety? When you start to heal, calm and steady love can feel unfamiliar, even uncomfortable. But before you sabotage your relationship or write off the consistent “nice” guy/girl in front of you, ask yourself: is it really boring—or are you just used to chasing chaos? The truth is, real love doesn’t keep you guessing or leave you proving your worth. It’s not flashy or dramatic—it’s safe. And safe love gives you the room to grow, trust, and be fully seen. If you want the 10 questions I asked myself to break the cycle of chasing chaos and build a secure attachment, comment ‘SECURE’, and I’ll send them to you. 💌

Here’s why I walked away 👇🏼 Three weeks into dating Matt, he was still on the apps and dating other people. For me, it was a hard no. I’m not someone who’s ever liked dating apps.. I think they’re a dopamine-fueled fest. And when I feel drawn to someone I want to give it my full attention and I believe cutting off other connections is the best way to give a real chance. But that wasn’t how Matt operated at the time, and tbh it stung a bit. Old me would’ve taken it personally, spiraled into self doubt, or maybe tried to prove my worth and hope he’d eventually choose me. But I knew better this time. I told him, “I think we have something special, but I don’t date this way. If we’re not on the same page, that’s okay, but I’m not interested in pursuing this romantically while you’re still keeping other connections open.” And then, I friend-zoned him. We took space for a few days. I wasn’t trying to punish him I just knew I deserved someone who was ready to meet me where I was. And then, he came back. He asked to see me and there was zero hesitation in his voice, “I don’t want the apps. I don’t want anyone else. I’m ready for this, for us. I needed someone to call me out. You saw something in me that I wasn’t living up to, and you didn’t let me stay in this avoidant boy energy.” Matt admitted he’d been playing this game of “dating” to mask the truth of his lack of fully committing. But he knew that wasn’t what he wanted anymore, “You’re the kind of person who pushes me to be better. And liking me wasn’t enough for you to settle. You loved yourself enough to say, ‘I deserve more.’ That’s what I want in a partner.” That moment set the tone for us. It wasn’t about controlling or giving him an ultimatum. It was about standing in my truth and letting him decide if he wanted to step up. And he did. Being secure isn’t about never feeling disappointed it’s about knowing your needs matter and honoring them. The right person won’t see your standards as a threat. They’ll see them as a reflection of your worth and they’ll rise to meet them. —— If you want the 10 questions that helped me to build secure attachment within comment ‘SECURE’ 💌👇🏼

Save these secure scripts👇🏼 💌Scenario: When conflict feels like a threat.. -Every disagreement makes you feel like the relationship is on the line. 📝 Script: Instead of panicking, say, “I know we’re in a rough patch, but I’m committed to working through it with you. Let me know when you’re ready to talk.” This reminds you both that the relationship isn’t fragile, even if emotions are high. 💌Scenario: When you’re feeling insecure and want validation.. -You feel off about the relationship and want to ask, “Do you still love me?” or “Are we good?” 📝Script: Instead of looking for constant reassurance, try saying..“I’m feeling a bit off today and would love a moment to reconnect. Can we sit down and just catch up?” This gives you the validation you need while keeping it about building closeness rather than seeking validation. 💌Scenario: When they’re ‘fine,’ but you know something’s up.. -You ask if everything’s okay, and they say “I’m fine,” but their energy says otherwise. That answer makes you even more anxious because now you’re left guessing. 📝Script: Say.. “I hear you’re saying you’re fine, and I want to respect that. But if there’s anything on your mind, I’m here to talk when you’re ready.” This lets them know you care without pushing them before they’re ready to open up. 💌 Scenario: When you feel the urge to fix things immediately.. -You feel tension and immediately want to dive in and solve it so you can feel close again. 📝Script: Resist the urge to rush in. Instead, say..“I feel like there’s some tension, and I’d love to talk it out. Are you open to that, or should we take a little breather first?” This shows you’re aware of the issue but respectful of timing. —— Stop letting the little “off” moments turn into big worries. It’s time to voice what you’re feeling securely, without pushing people away or letting your anxiety run the show. Remember, you’re allowed to ask for what you need without feeling like it’s ‘too much.’ In fact, it’s one of the most secure things you can do. ♥️ —— Comment ‘SECURE’ for the 10 questions that helped me build secure attachment within and I’ll send them your way.👇🏼